Something different its Time to Talk

Hello my Dear Sparkles, 

Todays post is gonna be a little different and  hope you don't mind. today is the first ever Time to Talk day. It has started in the UK but I am in Norway as you know and think this needs to be world wide so I have decided to take part. 

Basically It’s time to talk, it’s Time to Change. 
It's time we were all able to talk openly about mental health. 

Saying that where on earth do I start . . . 

Well I am a 32 year old girl who has lived with diagnosed Bipolor and Impulse control disorder since my mid teens. What is bipolor I hear you ask well Bipolar disorder, also known as bipolar affective disorder, manic-depressive disorder, or manic depression, is a mental illness classified bypsychiatry as a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of an elevated or agitated mood known as mania alternating with episodes of depression.for more information click here.

 And Impulse control is Impulse control disorder (ICD) is a class of psychiatric disorders characterized by impulsivity – failure to resist a temptation, urge or impulse that may harm oneself or others. 

Types of Impulse Control Disorder

There are a number of different conditions that fall under the umbrella of impulse control disorders. The one factor that all of these conditions share is that there is an obvious loss of control. The six main categories are:

• Pathological gambling
• Trichotillomania is where people have an impulse to pull out their own hair
• Pyromania is when the individual causes fires without any reasonable motive
• Kleptomania is where people steal even though there is no need for them to do so
• Intermittent explosive disorder causes people to have violent outburst even though there is no real trigger for the behavior
• There are also other examples of impulse control disorder that fall under the category of not otherwise specified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders. This category includes such behavior as sex addiction, compulsive shopping, and self-harm. Modern phenomenon like Internet addiction is sometimes also considered to belong in this group.

Impulsive control disorders are considered to belong to a wider group of mental health conditions known as obsessive-compulsive disorders.You can find more information about ICD here.

I guess  my teenage years where the hardest, I got myself into some right messes not knowing how to or being able to control myself. I just had to go with my urges and didn't think of the out come. To be perfectly honest with you, at times I still don't, although now it tends to focus around other aspects. I get a real high out of shopping esp for other people. I know some of you will be thinking here that it could be a lot worse, but try explaining that to my bank manager. Spending is the least physically harmful to myself or others but over the years I have done so many things I am not proud of, scared people away, upset people, hurt them, and I am deeply sorry. I have never been able to explain or make them see why. I just run off or shut myself away from everything. Living with ICD and Bipolor is hard, very hard infact. I have become very good at hiding my illnesses because not many people understand or can get past the stigma that comes with mental health illnesses. Sometimes it is hard to know what is the real me and what is the me people expect to see. 

Charli Bruce over at secrets behind the closet door says it all so much better than me I urge you to head over and read what she has wrote about living with Bi polor. 

I didn't understand my extreme happiness and sadness, and never talked about it because I was ashamed. After it nearly took my life,many times, I learned it has a name: Bipolar Disorder. I will never be silent about my feelings again, and I will never be ashamed because it makes me who I am: very passionate, very creative, very loving, very everything. 

My highs make me feel like I'm on drugs, and my lows have made me consider suicide. I am both anti-social and extremely personable. I feel out of place everywhere I go, unless I'm home or with my support group. I choose to live and educate people about who we really are: not killers, not "crazy", but people with misplaced energy.

This is one of the hardest posts I have written and yes I am finding it really hard. How do I explain that yes I have mental health issues, yes i can be rather unstable at times, one second i can be laughing and joking the next I could be having suicidal thoughts. I take medication to help keep me more stable and they work. I am able to hold down a job without a problem, I have good friends and family and a wonderful husband all are supportive and without them I don;t know what I would do. Should I tell you something I am scared the big what if in my life is what if during one depressive episode I dont have hubbie or friends around me what if my drugs are not as helpful as they are day to day, what if the suicidal thoughts and self harm is one step further and my life is over. . . What if . . . . . 

On that note I am going to leave it here I dont know what else to say but please if you have any questions do ask I will answer as honestly as I can. And go over to Charlis blog and read it, as I said she words it so much better than I can. Please educate yourselves educate ur family and lets stop the stigma around mental health. 

Love and foundation 

Vikkie